When I arrived at the Parados at 2am the morning of December 7th,2004 I was scared, confused, sad but most importantly, I was relieved. “Finally someone believes me”. I was so tired, I didn’t think I had the energy to tend to my 8 weeks old son who at this point, had already witnessed his father threaten my life. This was my strength and I had to feed on that in the weeks to come.
The workers at the Parados were understanding, but firm. Loving but detached. There were rules and regulations that we had to adhere to or we would be asked to leave. “Hey, I’m the victim here”, I thought to myself. But in no time, I came to understand that their philosophy was coming from a place of pure love, only not one that I was accustomed to.
Structure, education and self-reliance were the standards to help re-build ourselves. Self-pitty and co-dependency were to be discarded. Every woman who came through the front door had a similar story. In 30 days, I learned what violence was and how I came to be so attached to it. It wasn’t just about him anymore, it was about how I saw myself and what I knew (which was that I was unworthy). I also, through the encouragement and resources from the Parados, got custody of my child. I found a new place to live and I was shown how to build up a support network which
I’m still in contact with today. After my 30 days stay, I was still being counseled by them and supported for almost a year. I quickly learned that change does not happen over night; that the key was that I was willing to change my attitude and take responsibility for my life and the rest would eventually fall into place. Today, my child and I have an amazingly full life. At 42 years old, I went back to school, got a great job and for the first time in my life, I honestly can say that I don’t need a man to be happy and that I value who I am. This is the best gift the Parados has allowed me to give myself but most importantly, it’s a gift that I can pass on to my son.
Micheline R.